Dining Guide / Conversation & Thanks
Choosing Topics
Choose topics everyone at the table can share, and gently steer away from sensitive ones. Draw quieter guests in, too.
Try what you’ve read in questions based on real dining situations. · 6 min
Practice: Choosing Topics
Key Points
- Start with what everyone shares: the food, its presentation, the restaurant’s atmosphere, or how each person knows the host.
- Ask questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, so people can talk about themselves.
- Avoid politics, religion, age, income, marriage and family unless the other person brings them up.
- If someone raises a sensitive subject, acknowledge it without arguing, then move naturally to another topic.
- Look around the table now and then, and bring in anyone who’s been left out.
Do
- Turn the question back to the other person
- Follow up on something a quieter guest said
Avoid
- Talking only about yourself
- Digging into sensitive topics
- Letting a few people dominate the conversation
Handy Tip
Food, the restaurant, travel, a recent book or film, local specialties. Keep a few go-to topics in mind, and silences lose their sting.
Customs That Vary
What’s acceptable to discuss varies by country and region. At international gatherings especially, leave sensitive topics alone unless others raise them.
Practice in a Lesson
- Choosing Topics — 6 min · Practice in a Lesson
Read next
Sources
- Debrett's, “Social Graces” — Conversation topics and balancing listening with speaking.
- Debrett's, “Restaurant Etiquette for Guests” — Host and guest roles, paying and thanking the host after a restaurant meal.