Choosing Topics

The most reliable topics at a dinner are the ones everyone at the table shares: the taste or presentation of the food, the feel of the restaurant, or how each person knows the host. Anyone can join in easily. When you ask questions, choose ones that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, so others have room to talk about themselves.

Politics, religion, age, income, marriage, and family, on the other hand, are received very differently from person to person. What’s acceptable to discuss also varies by country and culture, so at an international table it’s safest to leave these alone unless the other person brings them up. If someone does, acknowledge it without dismissing them, and move naturally to another topic.

The livelier the conversation, the easier it is for someone to be left out. Look around the whole table now and then — simply asking about something a quiet guest mentioned can make the table feel much warmer.